Its diwali. And I’m posting randmonies on this dot of a blog in this pot of a world. With still no clear focus, the camera moves along capturing daily life in on second grade film..
What am I writing??
Thing is, its Diwali!! The festival of lights and money, of love and happyness, of friendship and other related stuff. But me, sigh, still as lonely as ever. Can’t really relate much to the umpteen number of relatives that I live with because between us, we have very little dialogue. Everything is left hanging in the air, to be understood in whatever one wishes to.
(Btw, I have two uncles – my father’s elder brothers, their wives, their sons and one daughter. Will post a rough family tree soon. And the ever hyper grandmother and ever serene grandfather who has a really bad illness at the moment. That is my family. Such coldness with which I have mentioned, is purely because I am in a bad bad mood. If I was to win a Nobel today, I would’nt know whom to go and hug with pure and unthought about love. My mum and dad? perhaps. But a friend? Puts me into spirals if I have nothing to do and I am thinking about such random stuff…

Three things that are going to my head at the moment – Math which I don’t want to do at home, YP ka kaam which I don’t want to do alone, and my wierd article outsourcing shit which is more messed up at this time than I can remember. A man scammed me for the first btw, of 175$. Sad and more depressing.

I need a big warm hug,
Because Ive been bitten by a strange bug,
I hate to carry on like this,
I would rather stop and piss,
Ha Ha, is how I can laugh at cheap dirty jokes,
But, isn’t that how we do other things too, bloke?

I am typing out these random lines because I find joy in rhyming up things, especially if they are more random than a thousand blades of grass.

The sun is hot outside,
But the air is cold inside,
Cold, not because of closed doors and windows,
But of sad smiles and heart-wringing lows..

Yeah, that’s a better way of putting things around me. Why I am feeling how I am feeling, I wish I knew..