This is a very deep metaphysical statement. Chaotic situations are a pre-requisite for order. Order cannot come out of order because there is nothing that needs to be in order. Order can only come out of something that is out of it.

There are so many choices to choose from when it comes to deciding what you want to do with your life. Going back to the basics and revisiting your core values often helps to decide what you want to do.

I wish I had my ideals straight. This confusion is maddening but I’ve heard a lot of times that for something creative to emerge, confusion is a high important ingredient. If you are confused, it means you are thinking. You mind is constantly weighing various options, deciding what needs to be done first. I am confused. Scared of making a choice. Scared to take the leap. This job that I’m currently doing is rather comfortable and monotonous. It is safe. Assured. It promises me security. It is not adventurous. It is not risky. It is all the things  I had thought I would not do.

But that’s just what life is.

It’s been a year since I graduated from college. I’m not sure in which direction I want to take my life. But I am sure that I need to stop multi-tasking (at least for a while!) and just focus on one or maximum two things. I cannot continue with 4-5 goals in my head, all incomplete. With no real achievement in my pocket in the last 1 year, I feel quite useless and a good-for-nothing. I am responsible for all my actions and inactions. Inaction is sin. Living a life of action is what is worth living and it’s high time I choose one goal and focus relentless on acheiving it. Everything else will fall into place. All the dark habits that I have cultivated, negative patterns, self-defeating mindset and whatnot. Confidence will return once I start working hard and things will smoothen out.

Otherwise my body and mind will continue to decay and I might not be able to do justice to this life that God has given me.